Even when both parties to a divorce want to handle the process without much drama, it can lead to emotional and legal challenges. Regardless of the intensity level of the process, there are a few things you can do to handle the potential strains.
Put Your Attorney to Work
You're likely to hire a divorce lawyer to represent your interests. Put them to work. Especially if you're dealing with a contentious divorce involving an ex who wants an emotional battle, a divorce attorney can step in and shield you. Simply tell them to retain counsel and have their lawyer call yours.
The only thing you owe an ex-partner in this situation is a reasoned legal response to credible problems. If they want to be loud about the divorce process, let them do it on their lawyer's time while being billed.
It's tough to look at the remnants of marriage and think about the specific things you do and don't want. However, it helps to focus on it as a process.
If you're trying to figure out the division of the marital assets, for example, itemize them. As you go through the list, make notes about which items are must-haves and which ones you could take or leave. For that matter, don't hesitate to make a list of the stuff you hate and try to trade as much of it in negotiations for what you want.
The same logic applies to issues involving children. If you need specific days with your child due to an unusual work schedule, be specific about them. Clearly outline your expectations in terms of custody, support, and visitation so there's no confusion later about the details of the agreement.
Both parents also have a say in their child's upbringing. Once more, specificity is wise. If you wish to send your child to a particular school and have the other parent pay for part of the expenses, put that in the divorce settlement.
When it comes to dealing with assets and liabilities, the questions often focus on whether something is or isn't from the marriage. Try to collect as much paperwork as possible attesting to what items came into your shared possession during this time. Account information, titles, and deeds are all useful items. A divorce lawyer can use them to support a claim something is or isn't a marital asset, simplifying settlement negotiations.
For more information on divorce proceedings, contact a divorce attorney near you.